Here's a sample of advice to 'two of our clients.'

Q. Lord Timothy I'm 3 feet 2 inches, my wife is a show girl. She's 6 feet tall. Because of our height difference it has been impossible to complete our 'marriage vows with love.' I did follow your advice and I bought a pail. I stood on the pail but only came up to her 'nips.' I need better tips!

A. My boy, listen to what I've said:

"Place the pail over her head and ....hold on to the handles!'"

Another:

Q. 'LT" My girl friend and I are only sixteen. When we're in the car and fooling around, she complains that I'm going too far!

A. She's right. You've overshot the runway! Instead of connecting with the 'near' you've put it in the 'rear!'